


An Awkward Conversation With a Kelpie

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21728029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "We always kind of see the surprise of Jack and Pitch’s relationship from the other Guardians’ point of view, who are shocked because “Pitch is the bad guy” or “Pitch is too old for Jack”.I’d like to see friends/minions/relatives of Pitch being surprised by Jack being his choice of lover/husband. Obviously Pitch is gorgeous too, but he’s an older, more refined kind of spirit who is, or considers himself to be, royalty.Jack is a very young looking, pretty-boy type with a liking for mischief and not wearing shoes. I want to see some people being all “are you even aware of the half-naked twink wandering about your home???” and some of them doubting Jack’s ability to stay faithful, but maybe Pitch sets them straight or whatever."It’s not that he’s a pretty boy that’s as weird as the fact that he’s a Guardian. Also, don’t show up at Pitch’s lair uninvited.
Relationships: Jack Frost/Pitch Black
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91
Collections: Blackice Short Fics





	An Awkward Conversation With a Kelpie

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 2/9/2015.

“I normally don’t care for unexpected visitors at the best of times, kelpie,” Pitch said. “I care for them even less when they barge in, attacking the first thing they see.”  
  
The kelpie, currently in the form of a young man in dark clothes with long, lank, wet black hair, rolled his eyes and curled his lip at Pitch, revealing sharp teeth. “I’m not unexpected, you daft bugger. You told me to come and see if the nightmares were moving right. I know kelpies have an unreliable reputation, but I thought I’d make an exception for, you know, the Boogeyman. Fat lot of good it did me.” He rubbed at a large frozen patch on his shoulder.  
  
“It wasn’t an _open invitation_ ,” Pitch said. “You couldn’t have guaranteed that I would _be_ here–” He frowned. “Regardless, your stated purpose doesn’t include an attack, and your current visit _did_.”  
  
The kelpie grumbled something under his breath. “I didn’t attack _you_ ,” he said more clearly. “I attacked him!” He gestured to Jack, who was perched on a nearby outcropping of stone, watching the argument with interest and gingerly poking at a few raw patches on his hands and feet where he’d come in contact with the kelpie’s skin.  
  
“How rude of me,” Pitch said dryly. “I forgot introductions. Kelpie, Jack Frost. Jack Frost, Kelpie.”  
  
“I sort of think we’re already acquainted,” Jack said, while the kelpie made a distinctly horselike noise of dismissal.  
  
“I bloody well know who it is, Pitch! Everyone knows who Jack Frost is! He’s a new Guardian! And everyone and everything under the earth and in the deep of the forest knows what that means! So I’d appreciate it if you acknowledged that I was trying to help you when I tried to drive out the embodiment of joy and children’s laughter from your lair!”  
  
Pitch stood up and began to slowly pace back and forth. “Look. You just said Jack is a Guardian. You know the kind of power that means. Jack could not have hidden from me in my lair. So I knew he was here and I wasn’t fighting him. What can you conclude from this?”  
  
“Hell if I’m going to say it with you looming over me,” the kelpie said.  
  
“Hm, then it must be terribly unflattering. I think I’ll call out the nightmares for your inspection, though I don’t know if you’ll be able to observe them as well as you had initially planned.”  
  
“Hey! What! Nonono, don’t do that–”  
  
“He probably thinks you were hiding from me,” Jack said.  
  
Pitch turned to him. “So I was right, that is terribly unflattering. I should call the nightmares.”  
  
“No! You shouldn’t! Just–what else was I supposed to assume? Help me understand and I’ll–I’ll tell everybody, so they won’t bust in here with the wrong idea like I did!”  
  
“Oh, we should definitely do that!” Jack said.  
  
“Why?” Pitch asked. “I really want to call the nightmares.”  
  
“I know you do, but we don’t want anyone barging in at random, do we?”  
  
“He said he’d tell _everyone_ ,” Pitch said, frowning.  
  
“But the only people you might need to worry about already know.” Jack grins. “Besides, I’ve been known to wreak a little havoc in my time. It might even do your reputation good.”  
  
“Well, I suppose I do want him to leave as soon as possible.” Pitch turns to the kelpie. “Here’s something for you to tell: Jack and I are lovers. Anyone who treats him as a trespasser in my lair has made a very grave error indeed.”  
  
The kelpie opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. “So. You are interested in that sort of thing. But with a Guardian. That’s…”  
  
“I believe it would be difficult to find anyone more suited to me,” Pitch said.  
  
“Aww,” Jack interjected.  
  
“There are like only two or three beings I can think of that I’d consider LESS suited to you,” the kelpie exclaimed.  
  
“Your comments are neither desired nor relevant,” Pitch said. He turned to Jack. “And rather boring, too, don’t you agree?”  
  
Jack laughed a little, and the kelpie realized at once that he didn’t want to be around a bored Guardian of Fun.  
  
“Right,” he said. “I get it, or rather I don’t, but I get that I should get gone.” Neither Jack nor Pitch made a move to stop him, and the way out seemed much less like a maze than the way in. “Got other things to think about now, does he? Ach, I’m certainly not going to think about that! Fine. Weirdos. I’ll just stay away then, deal with your own nightmares. Not like my help was needed by the likes of him, anyway, and now I’m so frozen I can’t even leave on four legs! What are the two rules that everyone has? Don’t give out your true name, and never get involved with anthropomorphic personifications. And the second one’s more important. And what did you do? And now you know and the whole thing’s probably going to end in disaster, just hopefully not for me, hopefully not for me…I’m not going to leave my lake for a month, what was I thinking…”

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #what just plain normal verse blackice?#I'm surprised too
> 
> only-1-a reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> I love the kelpie so much in this. And I just love the implications of Jack being the little devil that he is. Your writing is fantastic!


End file.
